Stupid people

Okay. Seriously.

-A guy has been emailing me about registering for hockey. He's emailed about 15 times. Basically he can't play because his schedule won't let him be flexible with days off. First he wants an exact schedule NOW for the fall/winter of next season. That's impossible. So then he says, "why can't you just give me only weekend games?" I explain the whole, "well there's 400 other people in the league" thing. He doesn't get it. He wants me to discount the games that he doesn't play.

-That goes with the guy that wanted me to phone him to let him know when he had hockey games because he doesn't have access to the internet. Again, I explain the whole "400 people in the league thing" and he doesn't get why it's such a big deal to just call him. Firstly, you are an idiot. The world doesn't revolve around you. Secondly, get out of the stone ages. No internet access? Are you serious? Heard of a library? Do you have any friends? Wait, forget that last question.

-$46. That was the total of the bill that the lady in front of me at the 15 items or less counter. Her son even counted out over 30 items as he unloaded HER CART! I was standing behind her with a newspaper and exact change. She doesn't let me go first. She just takes her time. Of course, I was in a big rush to get to my next appointment as well.

-When I'm driving a bus, don't pull out right in front of me when I'm stopping at a light or when I'm ripping down the highway at 90 kph. First off, I'm a much bigger vehicle and I'd crush you like a toothpick if I ran into you. Second, I can't stop like you can because of the aforementioned mass and inertia. (take Physics if you don't know what that is) And EVEN if I could stop or slow down, thanks to you, it will now take me about 20 minutes to get up to that speed again. Thanks pal.

-When we eat out and split the bill, look at what you ordered ROUNDING UP. Usually prices are like $14.95 so rounding up is the way to go. I've yet to see a menu item be $11.05. Don't forget to add your drink, dessert, appetizer and whatever else you felt like gorging yourself with. When it's all added up, move the decimal point over one spot (ie. $14.95 would now be $1.495) and double it (so 1.495 is close to $1.50 which doubled would then be $3.00). Add that to your total and that will be what you owe INCLUDING TAX AND A TIP! (So if you owed $14.95 that would be about $18.00 you'd leave). Don't expect other people to pay for you when you go out. You don't think people know who you are?!? Trust me, everyone knows and they talk about you when you aren't there. Here's a typical youth group situation. We go out as a group of 8 people. The bill total is $110. People leave $80. Thanks a lot. My meal now cost me about $50 as I am having to cover the $15 I owe plus the $40 we're short - and that's if we leave less than a 10% tip to cover the huge mess you left when you thought it would be funny to be loud, obnoxious and put all the salt into your drink and mix it with cream and everything else you can find.

-Along that line, if other people put in a big tip, the polite thing is to leave it in there. Please don't subsidize your meal by taking MY tip because you think it's too big. You want to subsidize your meal? Then scrape my plate and fill my pop. If you don't do that, then just let me tip whoever I want whatever amount I want to because it's my money and I feel like it.