Leading stuff

You'd think that after being in ministry for the last 15 years, I wouldn't get nervous leading stuff. But I do. Something was said at a funeral a while back that stuck with me. Something like "be careful what you say because once you say it, it becomes a thing in itself". Being someone that speaks as (or sometimes before) i think, that kinda scared me. But I think it's true. When something is in your head, it's just a thought and has no real substance - except to you. But once you say it, it is up for interpretation and takes a life of its own as people hear it, talk about it, scrutinize it - whatever they want. It becomes a separate entity altogether to you.

That's partly why I get nervous. That my thoughts are going to actually potentially mean something to someone - good or bad. That my thoughts can actually help or harm. That somewhere, someday, someone might remember what I said and do something else with it.

The other part is just pure insecurity. What will people think of me? Will they like it? Agree with it? Will I fit in? what gives me the right to say something about this with any authority?

I know what the answer is to this all though. It's God. I am just Chris. I'm not super Chris and definitely not Jesus Christ. I just need to give God my best in ministry. Love people my best. Give grace the best I can. Represent Jesus the best I can. And then I pray and ask forgiveness a lot for how I've fallen short. But my accounting is with God and not what others or even I think about it. So maybe it's good I'm a bit insecure about it? It just reminds me of where I need to stay focussed.