I had the opportunity to preach at a different church the past couple weeks. It's always great to see how others worship. Everyone does everything just a little different.
Sitting in the front row of the church, I don't usually get a good view of how the congregation is engaging the service until the sermon. Yesterday, the row of people behind me had several people with a wide array of physical and developmental disabilities. They were pretty obvious because wheelchairs and people with disabilities aren't often very prominent in churches (even though you'd think the congregations that Jesus ministered to were full of them!?!)
In 16 years of church ministry, I don't think I've ever heard anyone sing as loud and passionate as this group. They were REALLY off key and I don't think they could have sang any louder but they were into it - clapping, singing, smiling and firing out the Thank you Jesus and Amens after the particularly good songs.
As a visiting pastor, I think I learned more about the heart of God from this group than anything I could have shared with them.
Monday, July 20, 2009
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Most forming times
God's greatest life changers the past 10 years: (in no order)
-Having kids. I never knew how much God loves me until I think about how much I love my kids. I never knew what trust meant either. Or how selfish I am.
-Going through the trials of marriage. It's amazing how anyone could be so patient, so enduring, so forgiving knowing what she knows. I don't think I'd marry me and I'm my biggest fan. I can't even imagine God's love.
-Kris Davidson - a friend that I regret not knowing better until after he died. An example of humility, loving faithfulness and genuineness. His ministry hasn't stopped - if I could be half the man that he was.
-St. Andrew's Duncan - a church that taught me what church can be. One that depends on God, prays like there's nothing else that matters. Genuine and real. Worship was regularly transforming and transforming - for the staff as much as the congregation.
-My Sabbatical - Is there anything else that I could do for a living? Yes. Is there anything else that I would want to do? No. I'm a pastor and there's nothing better. Is there anything that is more exciting than a day with my kids? Yes. Is there anything that is remotely close to as rewarding? No. I'm a dad and that's the greatest thing EVER. Is it hard to be home while Kathleen works? Sometimes. But there's nothing better than seeing her proliferate in her calling and passion and to know that somehow, I had a small part in enabling that to happen.
Are there regrets in my life? Many. But God is faithful, forgiving, gracious and I belong to Him. I wouldn't change a thing.
-Having kids. I never knew how much God loves me until I think about how much I love my kids. I never knew what trust meant either. Or how selfish I am.
-Going through the trials of marriage. It's amazing how anyone could be so patient, so enduring, so forgiving knowing what she knows. I don't think I'd marry me and I'm my biggest fan. I can't even imagine God's love.
-Kris Davidson - a friend that I regret not knowing better until after he died. An example of humility, loving faithfulness and genuineness. His ministry hasn't stopped - if I could be half the man that he was.
-St. Andrew's Duncan - a church that taught me what church can be. One that depends on God, prays like there's nothing else that matters. Genuine and real. Worship was regularly transforming and transforming - for the staff as much as the congregation.
-My Sabbatical - Is there anything else that I could do for a living? Yes. Is there anything else that I would want to do? No. I'm a pastor and there's nothing better. Is there anything that is more exciting than a day with my kids? Yes. Is there anything that is remotely close to as rewarding? No. I'm a dad and that's the greatest thing EVER. Is it hard to be home while Kathleen works? Sometimes. But there's nothing better than seeing her proliferate in her calling and passion and to know that somehow, I had a small part in enabling that to happen.
Are there regrets in my life? Many. But God is faithful, forgiving, gracious and I belong to Him. I wouldn't change a thing.
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
It's like dating
Candidating for a church is a lot like I remember dating. You find a church that's vacant and seems attractive. You put out there that you're interested. They may or may not respond. Most of the time, that's it. No date, nothing. Just flirting.
But sometimes it works out.
You set up some time to have your first date and that date is pretty superficial. They want to know if you're good enough and you want to know if they are psychotic. This stage is basically a get to know you and you just don't want to mess it up. If you can create enough intrigue that they want to know more about you, you've done well. They usually put out their best selves as well and most of the time, there's enough there for a second date.
But sometimes it doesn't work out. One of you likes the other and one doesn't enough to have the second date. There's heartbreak and the longer you've been dating, the harder it is. Hopes get high and you might start to imagine life changing to accommodate the other. You remind yourself there's lots of fish in the sea but inside you secretly wonder if that fish is really out there.
The second, third and fourth dates are a lot more serious. During these dates, you start to invest yourself and see if the other person is really who they say they are. You get to know some of their friends and see how they act around them and what they might say about her. They do the same with your friends - maybe your family. In these dates, you really get a sense about chemistry. Anyone can talk to someone for a few hours on a first date. It takes real chemistry to be able to spend more time than that.
At some point, there's a decision. A friend once called it the "DTR" moment. "Defining the relationship." It's the moment most guys hate. You're enjoying a nice evening out. There's great connection. You have fun together and enjoy each other's company a lot. And she says, "So.....what are we?" She's basically asking for the "DTR". You're in the hot seat. Is there a future here?
Sometimes that works out. Sometimes it doesn't. I've been in both.
But sometimes it works out.
You set up some time to have your first date and that date is pretty superficial. They want to know if you're good enough and you want to know if they are psychotic. This stage is basically a get to know you and you just don't want to mess it up. If you can create enough intrigue that they want to know more about you, you've done well. They usually put out their best selves as well and most of the time, there's enough there for a second date.
But sometimes it doesn't work out. One of you likes the other and one doesn't enough to have the second date. There's heartbreak and the longer you've been dating, the harder it is. Hopes get high and you might start to imagine life changing to accommodate the other. You remind yourself there's lots of fish in the sea but inside you secretly wonder if that fish is really out there.
The second, third and fourth dates are a lot more serious. During these dates, you start to invest yourself and see if the other person is really who they say they are. You get to know some of their friends and see how they act around them and what they might say about her. They do the same with your friends - maybe your family. In these dates, you really get a sense about chemistry. Anyone can talk to someone for a few hours on a first date. It takes real chemistry to be able to spend more time than that.
At some point, there's a decision. A friend once called it the "DTR" moment. "Defining the relationship." It's the moment most guys hate. You're enjoying a nice evening out. There's great connection. You have fun together and enjoy each other's company a lot. And she says, "So.....what are we?" She's basically asking for the "DTR". You're in the hot seat. Is there a future here?
Sometimes that works out. Sometimes it doesn't. I've been in both.
Thursday, December 25, 2008
If I ran the Big 3 car companies
-I would see if I could get someone working inside Honda or Toyota just to take in what the corporate culture was. They've done lots of things right and now isn't the time to be arrogant.
-I would take the time to figure out what the average person wants to drive. Just because I make lots of cars doesn't mean people want to drive them.
-I would actually DRIVE what the average person wants to drive and travel how the average business person travels. Taking corporate jets right now just shows how far out of touch these guys are.
-When asking for money, be polite and courteous. The UAW has completely antagonized everyone whenever they talk. Yes it's the government giving the money but it's the taxpayer that's paying it. Being protectionistic and conceited at this point is the only thing killing them faster than making cars that have 10 mpg.
A business is simple. Find something that people really want and sell it for more than you pay for it. In order to do that, set a fair wage for the ground level worker (NOT $70 an hour) and keep bureaucracy to a minimum. Pay well but comparable. Making 35 million a year and having big payout bonusses when your competition is 100x more successful and making 10% what you make isn't going to work no matter what the business.
Time to move on North America. Yes, we will lose a lot of jobs and the economy will tank big time in the short term. But pouring 100 million into an industry that is doomed to fail is only going to make it worse. If the big 3 fail now, Toyota and Honda will buy these plants up and produce more here creating the jobs we're talking about. And it will invite others to come and do the same - built on a plan that lasts. In the long term, we have more jobs and an industry that needs to look forward and not backwards. It's a win/win for everyone - including the taxpayer that wants accountability for their hard earned tax dollars and the front line worker that really just wants some job security and not being laid off every other month.
I guess it isn't really EVERYONE that wins...the 10 executives that make in excess of 40 million a year might retire since they realize that for 99.999% of the population, they will never see in their lifetime what they make in a week. And the unions won't like it because they'll lose their ability to be entitled to everything just because they have a big membership.
-I would take the time to figure out what the average person wants to drive. Just because I make lots of cars doesn't mean people want to drive them.
-I would actually DRIVE what the average person wants to drive and travel how the average business person travels. Taking corporate jets right now just shows how far out of touch these guys are.
-When asking for money, be polite and courteous. The UAW has completely antagonized everyone whenever they talk. Yes it's the government giving the money but it's the taxpayer that's paying it. Being protectionistic and conceited at this point is the only thing killing them faster than making cars that have 10 mpg.
A business is simple. Find something that people really want and sell it for more than you pay for it. In order to do that, set a fair wage for the ground level worker (NOT $70 an hour) and keep bureaucracy to a minimum. Pay well but comparable. Making 35 million a year and having big payout bonusses when your competition is 100x more successful and making 10% what you make isn't going to work no matter what the business.
Time to move on North America. Yes, we will lose a lot of jobs and the economy will tank big time in the short term. But pouring 100 million into an industry that is doomed to fail is only going to make it worse. If the big 3 fail now, Toyota and Honda will buy these plants up and produce more here creating the jobs we're talking about. And it will invite others to come and do the same - built on a plan that lasts. In the long term, we have more jobs and an industry that needs to look forward and not backwards. It's a win/win for everyone - including the taxpayer that wants accountability for their hard earned tax dollars and the front line worker that really just wants some job security and not being laid off every other month.
I guess it isn't really EVERYONE that wins...the 10 executives that make in excess of 40 million a year might retire since they realize that for 99.999% of the population, they will never see in their lifetime what they make in a week. And the unions won't like it because they'll lose their ability to be entitled to everything just because they have a big membership.
Sunday, December 14, 2008
adversity
Whenever it snows, I get the incurable urge to go driving around on the roads. I'm not sure why - something to prove maybe - or just because it's a challenge that's kinda fun. Driving in the snow in our new 4WD made me especially eager this morning. When I was on the road, I observed a few things:
-people in Victoria don't know how to drive in the snow. This is well documented so I won't elaborate much but people - seriously - flooring the gas when you have no traction means nothing. You make ice under your tires if you're stopped and if you're moving, it means you'll lose control.
-a note to pedestrians - if you see a car spinning its tires, get the $%^$#$ out of the way! Don't stand there with a smile on your face looking up the hill to check it out. I saw at least two pedestrians stop dead in their tracks while checking out the spinning out car.
-shopping. Best day to shop by far, was today. I was actually walked around Walmart by two employees to help me find my stuff. When I was done, I had 5 empty cashiers willing to serve me. Snow at Christmas time = lots of employees, no shoppers.
What was kinda cool though was that I noticed how much friendlier people are when there's snow outside. Logic says we should be grumpier - we travel even slower than our usual road raging selves and there's no rhyme or reason to traffic patterns and the roads are not clearly marked AT ALL. On a sunny day, if any of those things happened, we'd be fuming. But on snowy days, we're okay with it. Not only that, people stop to help others. Most people stop if there's a car on the side of the road or stuck somewhere. People will lend shovels or lend a hand where needed.
I remember the big snowfall of 96. People in Victoria will forever remember and talk about that. It's as big of an event as Victoria will ever have. I had lived in the same house for 14 years and hardly knew my neighbors. But after that big snowfall, I'd met most of them - been invited for drinks and shared a laugh. And because of losing power for that full day and a bit, my family had to learn to play board games and talk again.
So it kinda makes me wonder. Why would any of us want sunny days?
-people in Victoria don't know how to drive in the snow. This is well documented so I won't elaborate much but people - seriously - flooring the gas when you have no traction means nothing. You make ice under your tires if you're stopped and if you're moving, it means you'll lose control.
-a note to pedestrians - if you see a car spinning its tires, get the $%^$#$ out of the way! Don't stand there with a smile on your face looking up the hill to check it out. I saw at least two pedestrians stop dead in their tracks while checking out the spinning out car.
-shopping. Best day to shop by far, was today. I was actually walked around Walmart by two employees to help me find my stuff. When I was done, I had 5 empty cashiers willing to serve me. Snow at Christmas time = lots of employees, no shoppers.
What was kinda cool though was that I noticed how much friendlier people are when there's snow outside. Logic says we should be grumpier - we travel even slower than our usual road raging selves and there's no rhyme or reason to traffic patterns and the roads are not clearly marked AT ALL. On a sunny day, if any of those things happened, we'd be fuming. But on snowy days, we're okay with it. Not only that, people stop to help others. Most people stop if there's a car on the side of the road or stuck somewhere. People will lend shovels or lend a hand where needed.
I remember the big snowfall of 96. People in Victoria will forever remember and talk about that. It's as big of an event as Victoria will ever have. I had lived in the same house for 14 years and hardly knew my neighbors. But after that big snowfall, I'd met most of them - been invited for drinks and shared a laugh. And because of losing power for that full day and a bit, my family had to learn to play board games and talk again.
So it kinda makes me wonder. Why would any of us want sunny days?
Thursday, November 13, 2008
Only in the church
I went to worship at my old church a couple weeks ago. I could hardly keep it together all service. I miss that place and those people.
For all the complaining I hear from people about the "church" and how much harm it does, that's not the church that I know. It's not the church that God created. And it wasn't my last church.
As I looked around while singing, I saw one guy singing with his eyes closed who I know has struggled with serious addictions his whole life.
A woman is singing with her hands raised just a little over a year after her teenage daughter died from a congential illness.
A young adult that's more than a little eccentric has invited a small group of her friends that love and accept her just as she is and not as she "should" be.
A man stands up and shares about the struggles he is having with his son as others pray for him.
That's the church I know and I can't imagine life without them.
For all the complaining I hear from people about the "church" and how much harm it does, that's not the church that I know. It's not the church that God created. And it wasn't my last church.
As I looked around while singing, I saw one guy singing with his eyes closed who I know has struggled with serious addictions his whole life.
A woman is singing with her hands raised just a little over a year after her teenage daughter died from a congential illness.
A young adult that's more than a little eccentric has invited a small group of her friends that love and accept her just as she is and not as she "should" be.
A man stands up and shares about the struggles he is having with his son as others pray for him.
That's the church I know and I can't imagine life without them.
Monday, October 27, 2008
Eric's wedding
It's been a while since I've been at or in a wedding. As great as it is officiating a wedding, it doesn't really allow for an objective perspective on a wedding. Not that my brother getting married gives any objective perspective either but I definitely noticed some different things.
1) As you get older, the people that you want to come to your wedding decreases. When I look back at my wedding video and guest book, I scratch my head a lot wondering who a particular person was or why they came. Granted, I was a youth pastor in a church so many from the congregation came but I also remember having a really difficult time narrowing our guest list at our reception to 160 people. As I looked around the wedding last week, I couldn't think of many more than one or two people that Eric would have wanted to be there. If I got married today, I'd bet we could do a reception for 100 without much problem.
2) While the number decreases, each friendship is deeper. Every single person at the wedding had a connection to our family. Some were connected through parents etc. but they were all people that could have gone up and shared a story of some kind. That was cool to hear all the stories as I walked around the room.
3) The ceremony means so much more than it used to. Obviously, my ceremony meant a lot to me but generally speaking, these days going to one wedding is really close to going to any other wedding. Every couple wants their ceremony short and sweet. Vows are pretty similar for the most part. There's a message of some kind. Rings get exchanged. But being at Eric's wedding and hearing them share the vows they shared knowing how the 11 years of marriage have been for us - with the best and worst yet to come - just makes those words mean so much more. The reason that vows are always similar is maybe because they are the most profound and anything else would be less. The ceremony wasn't sentimentally meaningful like it used to be. It was profoundly meaningful.
I've never been close family to someone getting married. My whole life it was always Chris and Eric. It was kinda weird to see my bro so happy and in love with his bride. But in some kinda weird way, I felt like I was giving him away as well. I couldn't be happier for him but couldn't help but think for a minute that life for us wasn't ever going to be the same.
The last thing I noticed is that it is official. Somewhere along the line, I went from being the youngest in a crowd to one of the oldest. I hope I never have to jump for a picture again.
1) As you get older, the people that you want to come to your wedding decreases. When I look back at my wedding video and guest book, I scratch my head a lot wondering who a particular person was or why they came. Granted, I was a youth pastor in a church so many from the congregation came but I also remember having a really difficult time narrowing our guest list at our reception to 160 people. As I looked around the wedding last week, I couldn't think of many more than one or two people that Eric would have wanted to be there. If I got married today, I'd bet we could do a reception for 100 without much problem.
2) While the number decreases, each friendship is deeper. Every single person at the wedding had a connection to our family. Some were connected through parents etc. but they were all people that could have gone up and shared a story of some kind. That was cool to hear all the stories as I walked around the room.
3) The ceremony means so much more than it used to. Obviously, my ceremony meant a lot to me but generally speaking, these days going to one wedding is really close to going to any other wedding. Every couple wants their ceremony short and sweet. Vows are pretty similar for the most part. There's a message of some kind. Rings get exchanged. But being at Eric's wedding and hearing them share the vows they shared knowing how the 11 years of marriage have been for us - with the best and worst yet to come - just makes those words mean so much more. The reason that vows are always similar is maybe because they are the most profound and anything else would be less. The ceremony wasn't sentimentally meaningful like it used to be. It was profoundly meaningful.
I've never been close family to someone getting married. My whole life it was always Chris and Eric. It was kinda weird to see my bro so happy and in love with his bride. But in some kinda weird way, I felt like I was giving him away as well. I couldn't be happier for him but couldn't help but think for a minute that life for us wasn't ever going to be the same.
The last thing I noticed is that it is official. Somewhere along the line, I went from being the youngest in a crowd to one of the oldest. I hope I never have to jump for a picture again.
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