Eric's wedding

It's been a while since I've been at or in a wedding. As great as it is officiating a wedding, it doesn't really allow for an objective perspective on a wedding. Not that my brother getting married gives any objective perspective either but I definitely noticed some different things.

1) As you get older, the people that you want to come to your wedding decreases. When I look back at my wedding video and guest book, I scratch my head a lot wondering who a particular person was or why they came. Granted, I was a youth pastor in a church so many from the congregation came but I also remember having a really difficult time narrowing our guest list at our reception to 160 people. As I looked around the wedding last week, I couldn't think of many more than one or two people that Eric would have wanted to be there. If I got married today, I'd bet we could do a reception for 100 without much problem.

2) While the number decreases, each friendship is deeper. Every single person at the wedding had a connection to our family. Some were connected through parents etc. but they were all people that could have gone up and shared a story of some kind. That was cool to hear all the stories as I walked around the room.

3) The ceremony means so much more than it used to. Obviously, my ceremony meant a lot to me but generally speaking, these days going to one wedding is really close to going to any other wedding. Every couple wants their ceremony short and sweet. Vows are pretty similar for the most part. There's a message of some kind. Rings get exchanged. But being at Eric's wedding and hearing them share the vows they shared knowing how the 11 years of marriage have been for us - with the best and worst yet to come - just makes those words mean so much more. The reason that vows are always similar is maybe because they are the most profound and anything else would be less. The ceremony wasn't sentimentally meaningful like it used to be. It was profoundly meaningful.

I've never been close family to someone getting married. My whole life it was always Chris and Eric. It was kinda weird to see my bro so happy and in love with his bride. But in some kinda weird way, I felt like I was giving him away as well. I couldn't be happier for him but couldn't help but think for a minute that life for us wasn't ever going to be the same.

The last thing I noticed is that it is official. Somewhere along the line, I went from being the youngest in a crowd to one of the oldest. I hope I never have to jump for a picture again.