Getting older 2

a lot gets posted about how getting older sucks (as I did last time apparently) but there’s actually a lot that is great about it too. I think if you asked most people in their 40s if they could go back to being young again, they’d say no. So here’s a few observations:

-the 20s are great cause it’s the first taste of real freedom.
-the 30s are great cause it’s like your 20s except with money
-the 40s are great cause you really stop giving a shit.

Here’s what I mean by that:

1) despite what I thought in my teens and 20s (and embarrassingly some of my 30s), no one cares who wins. That’s not to say life is one big pointless task that always ends in a tie - but winning really has little to do with beating anyone else. It’s more like hiking than sports. Winning is getting to whatever destination you’ve set as your goal. It makes no difference if you get there first. As long as you don’t give up and keep pressing on, you’re a winner. And as any team sport person knows, winning is a helluva lot more fun with friends by your side.

2) you own what you got not what you wish you had. The most attractive people in the world are confident. I’ve met poor people that are confident, uglier people that are confident - and every their ability to stand tall in making a mistake, in staying positive through challenges, in being proud of their differences - makes them attractive people to be around. The truth is that everyone is insecure and the confident ones aren’t those that cover that up, it’s the ones that own it and act in spite of it. If I knew the good looking girls in high school wanted to be liked as much as I did, I’d have had a lot more confidence. If I knew my future boss wanted an all star employee to make them look good as much as I wanted the job, I’d have stood a lot taller.

3) with exception to maybe your home, there’s always an asshole in the room. Someone who wants to win by putting others down. Someone who covers their insecurity with arrogance. A bully that feels good when others are humiliated. In my 40s, I’ve discovered that those people are sad, lonely individuals that have no self worth because others in their 40s no longer give a ahit. So these assholes pick on those that are younger, those with health or personal challenges - which may make them feel better cause they still have high school cred - but to the rest of us, you may declare yourself as the king of the castle, but us dirty rascals are killing ourselves laughing as we enjoy each other’s company on the journey. It doesn’t matter whether it’s a team, your work, your church, even your friendship circle, there’s always an asshole. No point trying to change that. And if you don’t think there is one, maybe it’s me - so I’d better look in the mirror.