my call to ministry

“What’s with the pile of nails?” Pete’s father asked, while repressing a sly grin.

“I want to be like you, Daddy. I want to build things.” Pete said intently while once again unsuccessfully hammering another nail into a two-by-four.

“You’ve got to be careful, Petee. I didn’t start using a hammer until I was much older than you. Wouldn’t you rather play Nintendo or something? That seems more a nine year old thing to do.” Pete’s father said, now noticing that Pete’s aim left much to be desired.

“No! I want to do what you do. I want to be YOU when I grow up.” he replied sharply.

“Well son, do you think that I could give you a few pointers?”

“REALLY!?! Yeah, I’d love that!” Pete exclaimed, his face now lit up like a Christmas tree.

“Well Pete, the first thing to remember is you don’t have to hit the nail so hard. It’s more important to hit it straight. So hold the hammer a little higher up the handle and tap it in. Eventually, you’ll get better aim and you won’t bend so many nails.”

“How about I hold the nail here for you and hold your hand while you hammer until you get the hang of it?”

“No thanks Dad. I think I can do it all on my own.”

Pete positioned the nail on the wood carefully but still held it with a slant as he concentrated on swinging the hammer straight.

“Here son. Let me help you a bit. I’ll hold the nail here so that you can think only about hitting it straight.”

Pete nodded his head again, tongue now slightly out of his mouth (which he does whenever he is concentrating intensely). He carefully brought the hammer from the nail backwards to ensure straight delivery. And then, with one big swing, he slammed the hammer down…right onto his father’s hand.

“OW! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!?” Pete’s father shouted while looking at his hand.

Pete’s face went red as tears began to stream down his face. He dropped the hammer and ran as fast as he could upstairs to his room.

Pete’s father followed him upstairs. He spoke softly this time – just loud enough to be heard through the door and over his sobbing and crying.

“Sorry Petee. I didn’t mean to yell at you. I was hurt and surprised that you hit me but I’m okay. Can you come out for a sec?”

After a few moments, the sobbing got quieter and the door began to open. Pete peeked his head out to see if his dad was still there and then brushed his sleeve over his face to wipe off the tears and hide his cried-out eyes.

“I’m s-s-sorry, D-dad.” Pete said quietly while another tear began to drip off his cheek.

Pete’s dad reached out and held his son for a moment as he began to sob once again.

“It’s okay son. It’s okay. Come with me. Let me show you something.”

Pete followed his dad as he led him down the stairs, outside and into the garage. He then open a rolled up piece of paper and showed it to Pete.

“What’s this?” Pete asked. “And why are you showing me?”

“It’s the addition to the garage,” he replied. “And you’re going to help me build it.”

“I don’t even know how to read your plans Dad. And besides, you saw how badly I nail things.” Pete’s initial excitement began to wane as he spoke.

“Well son. Let me worry about the plans. I’ll help you with the nailing. You just need to hammer one at a time…”

“But what if I miss again and wreck the nails?” Pete interrupted.

“Don’t worry Petee. We’ve got lots of nails.” Pete’s father said, with a warm, “dad” smile on his face.

“Thanks Dad. I love you too.”

In a way, God is asking each of us to help build something. While it isn’t something concrete like a garage, it is something equally real. It is the Kingdom of God.

I’ve often wondered what I would have said if I were Moses leading the people from Egypt. While I’m sure that I’d have been scared, I sure hope I wouldn’t have said no. I’d have missed the miracle of the Red Sea. The miracle of the cloud and fire. The miracle of the manna and quail falling each day from the sky.

Or what about the disciples? I’m sure they were scared. But if they hadn’t gone, they’d have missed out on everything!

If God asked you to go with Him to do some miracles, who among us would say no?!?

Yet, that is what He is asking of us every day. He asks us to come along and help do His work of building a Kingdom. Along the way, we will be part of some miracles. Some will happen to us. And some will happen through us. Like Pete, we might feel underqualified for the job. We might even fail and do some harm. But God’s voice will always quietly encourage us forward. We don’t have to succeed in our eyes because God has the plans and He’ll make good on us. Just one nail at a time is all He’s asking for.

I love Buechner

About the tough role of pastors...

“What can he say? What word can he speak with power enough to empower them, waiting there?

But let him take heart. He is called not to be an actor, a magician, in the pulpit. He is called to be himself. He is called to tell the truth as he has experienced it. He is called to be human, to be human, and that is calling enough for any man. If he does not make real to them the human experience of what it is to cry into the storm and receive no answer, to be sick at heart and find no healing, then he becomes the only one there who seems not to have had that experience because most surely under their bonnets and shawls and jackets, under their afros and ponytails, all the others there have had it whether they talk of it or not. As much as anything else, it is their experience of the absence of God that has brought them there in search of his presence, and if the preacher does not speak of that and to that, then he becomes like the captain of a ship who is the only one aboard who either does not know that the waves are twenty feet high and the decks awash or will not face up to it so that anything else he tries to say by way of hope and comfort and empowering becomes suspect on the basis of that one crucial ignorance or disingenuousness or cowardice or reluctance to speak in love any truths but the ones that people love to hear”

pleasing the heart of God

I had the opportunity to preach at a different church the past couple weeks. It's always great to see how others worship. Everyone does everything just a little different.

Sitting in the front row of the church, I don't usually get a good view of how the congregation is engaging the service until the sermon. Yesterday, the row of people behind me had several people with a wide array of physical and developmental disabilities. They were pretty obvious because wheelchairs and people with disabilities aren't often very prominent in churches (even though you'd think the congregations that Jesus ministered to were full of them!?!)

In 16 years of church ministry, I don't think I've ever heard anyone sing as loud and passionate as this group. They were REALLY off key and I don't think they could have sang any louder but they were into it - clapping, singing, smiling and firing out the Thank you Jesus and Amens after the particularly good songs.

As a visiting pastor, I think I learned more about the heart of God from this group than anything I could have shared with them.

Most forming times

God's greatest life changers the past 10 years: (in no order)

-Having kids. I never knew how much God loves me until I think about how much I love my kids. I never knew what trust meant either. Or how selfish I am.

-Going through the trials of marriage. It's amazing how anyone could be so patient, so enduring, so forgiving knowing what she knows. I don't think I'd marry me and I'm my biggest fan. I can't even imagine God's love.

-Kris Davidson - a friend that I regret not knowing better until after he died. An example of humility, loving faithfulness and genuineness. His ministry hasn't stopped - if I could be half the man that he was.

-St. Andrew's Duncan - a church that taught me what church can be. One that depends on God, prays like there's nothing else that matters. Genuine and real. Worship was regularly transforming and transforming - for the staff as much as the congregation.

-My Sabbatical - Is there anything else that I could do for a living? Yes. Is there anything else that I would want to do? No. I'm a pastor and there's nothing better. Is there anything that is more exciting than a day with my kids? Yes. Is there anything that is remotely close to as rewarding? No. I'm a dad and that's the greatest thing EVER. Is it hard to be home while Kathleen works? Sometimes. But there's nothing better than seeing her proliferate in her calling and passion and to know that somehow, I had a small part in enabling that to happen.
Are there regrets in my life? Many. But God is faithful, forgiving, gracious and I belong to Him. I wouldn't change a thing.

It's like dating

Candidating for a church is a lot like I remember dating. You find a church that's vacant and seems attractive. You put out there that you're interested. They may or may not respond. Most of the time, that's it. No date, nothing. Just flirting.

But sometimes it works out.

You set up some time to have your first date and that date is pretty superficial. They want to know if you're good enough and you want to know if they are psychotic. This stage is basically a get to know you and you just don't want to mess it up. If you can create enough intrigue that they want to know more about you, you've done well. They usually put out their best selves as well and most of the time, there's enough there for a second date.

But sometimes it doesn't work out. One of you likes the other and one doesn't enough to have the second date. There's heartbreak and the longer you've been dating, the harder it is. Hopes get high and you might start to imagine life changing to accommodate the other. You remind yourself there's lots of fish in the sea but inside you secretly wonder if that fish is really out there.

The second, third and fourth dates are a lot more serious. During these dates, you start to invest yourself and see if the other person is really who they say they are. You get to know some of their friends and see how they act around them and what they might say about her. They do the same with your friends - maybe your family. In these dates, you really get a sense about chemistry. Anyone can talk to someone for a few hours on a first date. It takes real chemistry to be able to spend more time than that.

At some point, there's a decision. A friend once called it the "DTR" moment. "Defining the relationship." It's the moment most guys hate. You're enjoying a nice evening out. There's great connection. You have fun together and enjoy each other's company a lot. And she says, "So.....what are we?" She's basically asking for the "DTR". You're in the hot seat. Is there a future here?

Sometimes that works out. Sometimes it doesn't. I've been in both.