Circles

I hate circles.   Give me a good straight line anyday.  Lines indicate progress.  You start one place and end at another.  Circles are pointless.  I walked 10k around the lake today and I discovered that walking around something is psychologically difficult for me.  There's no payoff at the end.  After a whole bunch of steps, I'm basically exactly where I started.  Each km marker was like someone was intentionally taunting me with how far I've come from being nowhere.  The other people on the trail had clearly arrived.  Running, walking, fishing - just doing what they wanted to be doing.  But me...I looked like everyone else but I disliked it.  At the 6k marker, there was a bench in the middle of nowhere.  Why would anyone want to stop midway?

That's the image of my sabbatical.  Maybe one day I'll learn to stop there and enjoy the trip instead of rushing to the end of a line that feels frustratingly circular.  Even better, maybe I'll learn to be more like Cherry who enjoyed every second of getting dirty and distracted...

10000 steps.  I have no idea where that phrase came from or why people say that it is the magic number towards good health.  For a guy that doesn't walk, that feels about 9990 steps too many.  But that is my commitment to myself this Sabbatical.  That I'm going to walk 10000 steps a day....starting next week....

10000 steps seems far.  But so does every goal that we set in our lives.  If it doesn't feel far - if it doesn't require more discipline than we think we have - then maybe it's not a very good goal.  So 10000 steps it is. 

As I'm sure the two people that may read this blog will know, 10000 steps represents more to me than just walking lots.  It represents how far I feel I need to grow in my personal life.  It represents how far I feel I am sometimes from being the person that I want to be - to God, to my family, my friends, myself.  It represents how little discipline I feel I have.  It represents all the things that I've said I want to do but always have an excuse to stay away from.  10000 steps is a commitment to myself this Sabbatical.  There's no other motive - not weight loss, not to fit old clothes, not to be stronger - just a commitment to put one foot in front of the other for the next 6 months and be a bit better tomorrow than I was yesterday.