As much as I love preaching and leading, the most rewarding part of ministry has been discipling people through significant life events like these. I've learned so much about living through being with people that are dying. My entire philosophy around grace filled living has been because I've had the privilege of being around people much smarter than I and more gifted than I - die before their time, struggle with more than they should and get dealt a much worse hand than they should have. I've seen courage where there should have been only fear. Strength when people should be weak. Forgiveness and love when people have every right to be angry and bitter.
As a pastor, the most common question I get asked is how do I do it? As in, how can I be around these tough situations? It usually follows with an "it takes a special person to...". But honestly, the capacity for people to cope, adapt and grow is huge. Pastors don't manufacture that in people. It's already there. My role is to identify it and name it. Sometimes that courage is veiled as obligation or duty. Forgiveness and love is seen as weakness. Sometimes it's a bit more difficult in that there are some layers to peel back before that resilience can be seen. It's still really a matter of listening and figuring out what are the right questions to ask. It's being a good observer. Seeing how God is already working in that life - or that situation - because He always is - and then naming it for people when they are ready to see it.
It's a shame that there isn't more taught about this in seminary. Instead, they teach about a lot of stuff that frankly no one in the world really cares all that much about. I went to a good seminary but even there, we talked more ABOUT mission than actually doing it. We talked about God's intersections in life - but we don't really train our pastors to do those intersections well. Instead, it's a crash course and I fear its a lost art especially among young evangelical pastors that are 'specialists' rather than generalists. In that environment, we would stay away from what we aren't good at and stick to our strengths. But what 25 year old is comfortable around extended care facilities, waiting in emergency rooms, sitting in intensive care units overnight and being called to meet with an unknown extended family of someone that has just died way before they should have. No one is comfortable there. It's a scary place to be. But it's where the Gospel has made the most difference in the life of this now middle aged pastor.
