Being a pastor means I give lots of advice but it's always tempered and gracious. Lately for some reason I've been giving relationship advice to a few friends with similar problems. Here's the unedited version.
If you're shy and have trouble meeting someone from the opposite sex, here's some help.
1) Get better looking. Looks aren't everything but they really do get you a long ways.
2) Get money. The love of money might be the root of all kinds of evil but having nice stuff and/or giving expensive presents really helps get you noticed.
3) Get really outgoing, good looking, rich friends to be friends with. When it all fails, second pick might still be better than your first pick.
Sunday, March 9, 2008
Tuesday, February 5, 2008
10 ways to find out if you're a youth pastor
10) Do you have the pizza companies fast dialed into your phone?
9) You've graduated and have 1000 friends on Facebook and 950 of them are in high school.
8) You could entertain a room full of people with 4 paper clips, an eraser, some Q-tips and 2 minutes to prepare.
7) You text message faster than the average 13 year old girl.
6) Your teens call you too old and every adult calls you too young.
5) If your best memories are in an old church van.
4) Your trunk is filled with different kinds of sports equipment "just in case"
3) Your office is where everyone stores their stuff.
2) You watch Austin Powers for sermon ideas.
1) You're single and just bought a minivan.
9) You've graduated and have 1000 friends on Facebook and 950 of them are in high school.
8) You could entertain a room full of people with 4 paper clips, an eraser, some Q-tips and 2 minutes to prepare.
7) You text message faster than the average 13 year old girl.
6) Your teens call you too old and every adult calls you too young.
5) If your best memories are in an old church van.
4) Your trunk is filled with different kinds of sports equipment "just in case"
3) Your office is where everyone stores their stuff.
2) You watch Austin Powers for sermon ideas.
1) You're single and just bought a minivan.
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
Presbytery worship.
“sing of the joy of his wonderful love” is the first line to the hymn we sang. In a room filled with 45-50 Presbyterian elders and ministers, we sang it like we were singing, “sing of the death of little babies in Africa”. I mumbled my way through this song as it was played on the organ like a funeral dirge. The body language in the room was saying “get on with it”.
The worst part? That was the hymn before communion was served. The liturgy was dead although the words were filled with lively images and impressive adjectives. He served communion like it was just a part of his job – a duty to be discharged. The prayer of thanksgiving was about remembering Christ’s death – nothing of his resurrection, nothing about what it means to us. Most funerals I’ve attended – even non-Christian ones – offer more hope and meaning. I ate a perfectly shaped piece of bread and drank some grape juice that, had I not been a Christian, would have been only that – although I’d have no idea why eating a small snack has anything to do with being a Christian other than Jesus did it a long time ago.
Why did I become a Christian? Because Jesus loves me enough to die on my behalf. Because Jesus rose from the dead – beat sin once and for all – and guarantees the same for me when i die or Jesus comes back. Because God is alive - working in the world and in the hearts of people that know him and ON the hearts of those that don’t. Because as a Christian, I belong to something much much bigger than I could ever be on my own – God’s kingdom.
Communion is supposed to celebrate that stuff. Eucharist (Greek word for thanksgiving) is what we’re doing. If you’re going to say thanks and talk about joy, then sing like you mean it. I’m in a better mood when the Canucks get shutout than taking communion today. The Lord’s supper is to not only to do it because Jesus did it. Otherwise, let’s go fishing in church because Jesus did. It’s to remember what his life, death and resurrection means to me and in obedience we’re doing it because he told us to do it remembering him. I should eat communion feeling more in love with Jesus afterwards. Communion is remembering the unity we share and have with God and each other. There was no language of reconciliation either to God or anyone else and no opportunity to make it right if it was off. I doubt anyone sitting around me knows my name and as a non-ordained Presbyterian, I have no standing in this court. Shouldn’t this table make us all even? And Catholic mass, is about sending out to participate in God’s Kingdom building work.
Here’s the million dollar question. WHY in the world would I want to share what I just experienced with anyone I care about?
The worst part? That was the hymn before communion was served. The liturgy was dead although the words were filled with lively images and impressive adjectives. He served communion like it was just a part of his job – a duty to be discharged. The prayer of thanksgiving was about remembering Christ’s death – nothing of his resurrection, nothing about what it means to us. Most funerals I’ve attended – even non-Christian ones – offer more hope and meaning. I ate a perfectly shaped piece of bread and drank some grape juice that, had I not been a Christian, would have been only that – although I’d have no idea why eating a small snack has anything to do with being a Christian other than Jesus did it a long time ago.
Why did I become a Christian? Because Jesus loves me enough to die on my behalf. Because Jesus rose from the dead – beat sin once and for all – and guarantees the same for me when i die or Jesus comes back. Because God is alive - working in the world and in the hearts of people that know him and ON the hearts of those that don’t. Because as a Christian, I belong to something much much bigger than I could ever be on my own – God’s kingdom.
Communion is supposed to celebrate that stuff. Eucharist (Greek word for thanksgiving) is what we’re doing. If you’re going to say thanks and talk about joy, then sing like you mean it. I’m in a better mood when the Canucks get shutout than taking communion today. The Lord’s supper is to not only to do it because Jesus did it. Otherwise, let’s go fishing in church because Jesus did. It’s to remember what his life, death and resurrection means to me and in obedience we’re doing it because he told us to do it remembering him. I should eat communion feeling more in love with Jesus afterwards. Communion is remembering the unity we share and have with God and each other. There was no language of reconciliation either to God or anyone else and no opportunity to make it right if it was off. I doubt anyone sitting around me knows my name and as a non-ordained Presbyterian, I have no standing in this court. Shouldn’t this table make us all even? And Catholic mass, is about sending out to participate in God’s Kingdom building work.
Here’s the million dollar question. WHY in the world would I want to share what I just experienced with anyone I care about?
Friday, December 14, 2007
the phone
I hate talking on the phone. It wasn't always that way. As a teen, that's all I did was talk on the phone. Hours at a time. But as an adult, there isn't much I'd less rather do than make phone calls and talk on the phone. People often wonder whether I don't like them or something when they call because I'm not talkative usually (unless I'm driving which I'm trying not to do and is another story altogether). I know I'm not like that in real life. And yes I do like to talk. And yes most likely I do like you. I just hate the phone.
I think it goes back to when I worked at the Canadian Liver Foundation as a telefundraiser. During those three months I worked there full time, I would make about 500 calls a day. Over 5 days that's 2500 a week and 13 weeks is 32500 phone calls. About 10 years later, I worked at CIBC as a customer service rep for VISA. I'd take about 30 calls an hour there. And then as a youth pastor and a person growing up in the pre-internet days, I've spent a lot of time on the phone.
Anyhow, I hate the phone. If someone wants to get a hold of me, I usually have a 'within a few minute' response time by email. Or text message. Or just about anything else. But if you call me at home on my home phone, I'm going to be short. Not cause I don't like you. And not cause I don't want to talk to you. I just hate the phone.
I think it goes back to when I worked at the Canadian Liver Foundation as a telefundraiser. During those three months I worked there full time, I would make about 500 calls a day. Over 5 days that's 2500 a week and 13 weeks is 32500 phone calls. About 10 years later, I worked at CIBC as a customer service rep for VISA. I'd take about 30 calls an hour there. And then as a youth pastor and a person growing up in the pre-internet days, I've spent a lot of time on the phone.
Anyhow, I hate the phone. If someone wants to get a hold of me, I usually have a 'within a few minute' response time by email. Or text message. Or just about anything else. But if you call me at home on my home phone, I'm going to be short. Not cause I don't like you. And not cause I don't want to talk to you. I just hate the phone.
Monday, November 12, 2007
the unedited version
In my other blog, I just wrote down a few thoughts about the liberal evangelical spectrum in our church. It's how I feel but edited for church reading. Here's where it came from.
For whatever reason, I've always been a pretty moderate person able to get along with different people. I'm the Christian that has a lot of non-Christian friends. I'm the non churchy guy that pastors a church. I'm the evangelical that has many liberal friends. Good or bad - that's just me. I know some people call me wishy washy and maybe even lukewarm but frankly, I don't really give a crap. It's who I am and being able to relate to people makes me a good pastor. I know what I believe.
It's a fight though. In my first presbytery meeting I attended while at Regent College, I was invited out with the "evangelical" crowd following the meeting. During that time, they put down just about every liberal, feminist or female in the meeting. It was WAY worse than any of the bashing that my non Christian friends would give to anyone. It was personal and very nasty. The problem was that some of those liberals they were talking to were good friends of mine. That was the last time I went out with those "spiritual" clergy and elders. Each Presbytery, I sat with my friends - most of whom were the people that I didn't share theology with but whom I respected and loved. To their credit, they may have been liberal but they never once put down the other people. But they did put down and express some hatred around the evangelical camp of the church - not specific to people - but just comments like, "How can evangelicals think they are the only way to heaven?" "how can they say that the Bible is literal and God's word?" etc. etc. etc. And then they would always look over and say something like, "you don't think that do you?"
I don't normally let theology get in way of friendships or how I see people. My father in law has a liberal theology and in the interest of family, we don't talk about the things that divide us. I know what he thinks. He knows we don't agree. So we just stay away from it. With many of these friends, I guess they just aren't used to an evangelical that isn't pushy and judgemental.
But maybe I'm not pushy enough. I probably need to be more outspoken about this than I am.
But to the evangelicals and liberals reading this, get over yourselves. Grow up. God's judging us both.
For whatever reason, I've always been a pretty moderate person able to get along with different people. I'm the Christian that has a lot of non-Christian friends. I'm the non churchy guy that pastors a church. I'm the evangelical that has many liberal friends. Good or bad - that's just me. I know some people call me wishy washy and maybe even lukewarm but frankly, I don't really give a crap. It's who I am and being able to relate to people makes me a good pastor. I know what I believe.
It's a fight though. In my first presbytery meeting I attended while at Regent College, I was invited out with the "evangelical" crowd following the meeting. During that time, they put down just about every liberal, feminist or female in the meeting. It was WAY worse than any of the bashing that my non Christian friends would give to anyone. It was personal and very nasty. The problem was that some of those liberals they were talking to were good friends of mine. That was the last time I went out with those "spiritual" clergy and elders. Each Presbytery, I sat with my friends - most of whom were the people that I didn't share theology with but whom I respected and loved. To their credit, they may have been liberal but they never once put down the other people. But they did put down and express some hatred around the evangelical camp of the church - not specific to people - but just comments like, "How can evangelicals think they are the only way to heaven?" "how can they say that the Bible is literal and God's word?" etc. etc. etc. And then they would always look over and say something like, "you don't think that do you?"
I don't normally let theology get in way of friendships or how I see people. My father in law has a liberal theology and in the interest of family, we don't talk about the things that divide us. I know what he thinks. He knows we don't agree. So we just stay away from it. With many of these friends, I guess they just aren't used to an evangelical that isn't pushy and judgemental.
But maybe I'm not pushy enough. I probably need to be more outspoken about this than I am.
But to the evangelicals and liberals reading this, get over yourselves. Grow up. God's judging us both.
Monday, November 5, 2007
Counting my blessings
This fall has been absolutely insane for me. Could well be the busiest my life has ever been. It's competing with one summer in 1996 when I was working half time as a youth pastor in the evenings and weekends, full time as a teen leadership director for Boys and Girls Clubs during the weekdays and taking two courses at UVIC. It's also competing with 1998-2000. At this point, I'm married. Kathleen is working full time. I'm working 30 hours a week as a youth pastor and studying full time at Regent College.
This time around, the other pastor at the church is on Sabbatical which for all intents and purposes was 5 months long (including his summer holidays etc that I covered at the church). While I've done maternity leave before and shouldered solo pastor type responsibilities at my last church, it was never for a congregation this size with a very active ministry life. I'm also coaching senior boys volleyball which is three days a week of practice and tournaments on most weekends. Kathleen is away 2-3 days a week so I'm doing all the dad duties on those days. And then there's a hockey league that Eric and I share - which isn't as busy as it could be this fall but still occupies time and mental space. SO....I've had many many 16 hour days the past several months. I'm very tired. But very thankful. Here's my list...
-every week I've gotten numerous phone calls, thank you and encouragement cards from people that have been praying for me.
-I LOVE my church - the people, the leadership team, the worship, the everything. They love me like God does. Allowing me try and fail and be myself.
-I LOVE my kids. They are so innocent, so vulnerable, so impressionable. They love me like God does. Unconditionally. Even when they get grumpy, "early morning" dad.
-I LOVE my wife. We've been together now for 14 years and knows me better than i know myself. And she still looks at me like I'm the best guy in the world. She loves me like God does. Even when I'm stinky and spouting off about my next big project.
-I LOVE my friends and family. I was away from the island for 10 years and now that I'm back, it's like nothing has changed with my old friends and family. They are truly the most amazing people I know. They too love me like God does.
-I LOVE being me. There's still many areas that this isn't done but in the last few years, I can honestly say that I've been happy in my skin - not feeling like I need to prove something to anyone else or myself. MOST of the time, I think I'm growing in the right direction.
-I LOVE Duncan. Ok, let's not get carried away. How about I don't dislike it? I DO like the Cowichan Valley and God has given me a burden for the people here. That's good enough i hope?
-I LOVE hockey. The smell of the ice. The smell of my gear. The smell of the league. All of it.
Life is just good.
This time around, the other pastor at the church is on Sabbatical which for all intents and purposes was 5 months long (including his summer holidays etc that I covered at the church). While I've done maternity leave before and shouldered solo pastor type responsibilities at my last church, it was never for a congregation this size with a very active ministry life. I'm also coaching senior boys volleyball which is three days a week of practice and tournaments on most weekends. Kathleen is away 2-3 days a week so I'm doing all the dad duties on those days. And then there's a hockey league that Eric and I share - which isn't as busy as it could be this fall but still occupies time and mental space. SO....I've had many many 16 hour days the past several months. I'm very tired. But very thankful. Here's my list...
-every week I've gotten numerous phone calls, thank you and encouragement cards from people that have been praying for me.
-I LOVE my church - the people, the leadership team, the worship, the everything. They love me like God does. Allowing me try and fail and be myself.
-I LOVE my kids. They are so innocent, so vulnerable, so impressionable. They love me like God does. Unconditionally. Even when they get grumpy, "early morning" dad.
-I LOVE my wife. We've been together now for 14 years and knows me better than i know myself. And she still looks at me like I'm the best guy in the world. She loves me like God does. Even when I'm stinky and spouting off about my next big project.
-I LOVE my friends and family. I was away from the island for 10 years and now that I'm back, it's like nothing has changed with my old friends and family. They are truly the most amazing people I know. They too love me like God does.
-I LOVE being me. There's still many areas that this isn't done but in the last few years, I can honestly say that I've been happy in my skin - not feeling like I need to prove something to anyone else or myself. MOST of the time, I think I'm growing in the right direction.
-I LOVE Duncan. Ok, let's not get carried away. How about I don't dislike it? I DO like the Cowichan Valley and God has given me a burden for the people here. That's good enough i hope?
-I LOVE hockey. The smell of the ice. The smell of my gear. The smell of the league. All of it.
Life is just good.
Friday, October 19, 2007
Living in a small town doesn't mean...
...that you can stop wherever you want in the middle of the road to talk to someone you know. (or back up like the guy did today)
...you can make ignorant comments about Chinese people just because I happen to be the only one you know.
...you can walk your dog without a leash and let it take its dump in my lawn without picking it up.
...my house is your house. Don't come over anytime you want without calling and invite yourself in.
...I know everyone that lives there. And if I happen to know them, I don't want or need to hear all the gossip about that person.
...everyone must love it there. There is such a thing as people that like big cities!
...you can make ignorant comments about Chinese people just because I happen to be the only one you know.
...you can walk your dog without a leash and let it take its dump in my lawn without picking it up.
...my house is your house. Don't come over anytime you want without calling and invite yourself in.
...I know everyone that lives there. And if I happen to know them, I don't want or need to hear all the gossip about that person.
...everyone must love it there. There is such a thing as people that like big cities!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
